I don't know what kills me more... Being absolutely in love with someone I can't have or having to keep it a secret.
Thursday, August 30, 2018
Wednesday, January 10, 2018
Treadmill
Well, a couple of months ago, I got my hands on a used treadmill. I finally brought it downstairs to my "room" yesterday. I probably should have used some help, but it go down in one piece.
So apparently, the treadmill has a little odometer to show you your estimated distance each walk. Day 1 down. I'm starting with 30-minute walks. At the pace I had it at, it estimated around 1 1/3 miles I'd call that a good start. Day 1 - Done
So apparently, the treadmill has a little odometer to show you your estimated distance each walk. Day 1 down. I'm starting with 30-minute walks. At the pace I had it at, it estimated around 1 1/3 miles I'd call that a good start. Day 1 - Done
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
The Beatles - And I Love Her (Official Video with Lyrics)
Well, it seems it finally happened. I wish I hadn't deleted the post when I predicted it. She met someone... I don't think there's anything else to say.
Thursday, September 22, 2016
Friday, August 19, 2016
Broken Mirror Reflection of Only Half a Man
I am me. Or what's left. I love you. I love me. I hate us, both. No, that's not for my Cupcake. It's not for an unnamed and relinquished love. It's for the world. It's for life. The post title... It's an old alias from the Myspace days. That's what I felt like at times. That's how I feel now. Like I'm just waiting for things to end and be over.
I use to think that if I tried hard enough, that life could transform itself into something that would reward us for the pain we've endured. Or that it would otherwise make the struggle worth while.
In some ways, I still do. There's still my Cupcake. Things are different now, but there's still a strength to gain from her and (hopefully) to share with her. There's another certain someone, who won't be mentioned for now, that also has a strong ability to draw me in to thinking there's still a chance to live.
But I'm lost at times. Too afraid or too self-muted to call out. All I can do, for now, is breathe.
"I will not scatter your sorrow into the heartless sea. I will always be with you."
- Venom Snake, "Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain
I use to think that if I tried hard enough, that life could transform itself into something that would reward us for the pain we've endured. Or that it would otherwise make the struggle worth while.
In some ways, I still do. There's still my Cupcake. Things are different now, but there's still a strength to gain from her and (hopefully) to share with her. There's another certain someone, who won't be mentioned for now, that also has a strong ability to draw me in to thinking there's still a chance to live.
But I'm lost at times. Too afraid or too self-muted to call out. All I can do, for now, is breathe.
"I will not scatter your sorrow into the heartless sea. I will always be with you."
- Venom Snake, "Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain
Broken Mirror Reflection of Only Half a Man
I am me. Or what's left. I love you. I love me. I hate us, both. No, that's not for my Cupcake. It's not for an unnamed and relinquished love. It's for the world. It's for life. The post title... It's an old alias from the Myspace days. That's what I felt like at times. That's how I feel now. Like I'm just waiting for things to end and be over.
I use to think that if I tried hard enough, that life could transform itself into something that would reward us for the pain we've endured. Or that it would otherwise make the struggle worth while.
In some ways, I still do. There's still my Cupcake. Things are different now, but there's still a strength to gain from her and (hopefully) to share with her. There's another certain someone, who won't be mentioned for now, that also has a strong ability to draw me in to thinking there's still a chance to live.
But I'm lost at times. Too afraid or too self-muted to call out. All I can do, for now, is breathe.
"I will not scatter your sorrow into the heartless sea. I will always be with you."
I use to think that if I tried hard enough, that life could transform itself into something that would reward us for the pain we've endured. Or that it would otherwise make the struggle worth while.
In some ways, I still do. There's still my Cupcake. Things are different now, but there's still a strength to gain from her and (hopefully) to share with her. There's another certain someone, who won't be mentioned for now, that also has a strong ability to draw me in to thinking there's still a chance to live.
But I'm lost at times. Too afraid or too self-muted to call out. All I can do, for now, is breathe.
"I will not scatter your sorrow into the heartless sea. I will always be with you."
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