Wednesday, October 12, 2016

The Beatles - And I Love Her (Official Video with Lyrics)

Well, it seems it finally happened. I wish I hadn't deleted the post when I predicted it. She met someone... I don't think there's anything else to say.



Friday, August 19, 2016

Broken Mirror Reflection of Only Half a Man

I am me. Or what's left. I love you. I love me. I hate us, both. No, that's not for my Cupcake. It's not for an unnamed and relinquished love. It's for the world. It's for life. The post title... It's an old alias from the Myspace days. That's what I felt like at times. That's how I feel now.  Like I'm just waiting for things to end and be over.

I use to think that if I tried hard enough, that life could transform itself into something that would reward us for the pain we've endured. Or that it would otherwise make the struggle worth while.

In some ways, I still do. There's still my Cupcake. Things are different now, but there's still a strength to gain from her and (hopefully) to share with her. There's another certain someone, who won't be mentioned for now, that also has a strong ability to draw me in to thinking there's still a chance to live.

But I'm lost at times. Too afraid or too self-muted to call out. All I can do, for now, is breathe.

"I will not scatter your sorrow into the heartless sea. I will always be with you."
- Venom Snake, "Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain

Broken Mirror Reflection of Only Half a Man

I am me. Or what's left. I love you. I love me. I hate us, both. No, that's not for my Cupcake. It's not for an unnamed and relinquished love. It's for the world. It's for life. The post title... It's an old alias from the Myspace days. That's what I felt like at times. That's how I feel now.  Like I'm just waiting for things to end and be over.

I use to think that if I tried hard enough, that life could transform itself into something that would reward us for the pain we've endured. Or that it would otherwise make the struggle worth while.

In some ways, I still do. There's still my Cupcake. Things are different now, but there's still a strength to gain from her and (hopefully) to share with her. There's another certain someone, who won't be mentioned for now, that also has a strong ability to draw me in to thinking there's still a chance to live.

But I'm lost at times. Too afraid or too self-muted to call out. All I can do, for now, is breathe.

"I will not scatter your sorrow into the heartless sea. I will always be with you."

The Rest of the Story: Tobacco News Analysis and Commentary: FDA Bans Safety Improvements in E-Cigarettes and A...

The Rest of the Story: Tobacco News Analysis and Commentary: FDA Bans Safety Improvements in E-Cigarettes and A...: Last Monday, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) committed one of the most bone-headed blunders I have ever witnessed in public heal...

Friday, June 17, 2016

I don't enjoy life...

I don't enjoy life... I really don't. I appreciate it, but I don't know how to enjoy it. I'm too busy looking at others and thinking about how I wish I could make it better; for both them and myself. There's someone out there that I'll likely never have for myself, but I can't help but to wish I was there to make things better for. There are friends and family whose lives I wish I could help improve. And there's extended family that I wish I can just be more than who I am for.

I know... it's an old feeling and I'm far from being the first to feel this way. But if I don't let it out; I'll never be able to let it be.

A: I still love you. I really do.
R: Duuuuude, your ex is a supreme cunt. Like wow.
T: Fuck, I wish I was there to give you the right shove in the right direction.

(Yes, I rearranged that that semi-spell ART.)

My sisters... I still regret not being there for so many years of your lives. I know, as hard as I may try sometimes, that it may be time loss, but if you're reading this... I'm ALWAYS here for you. That's all four of you. Don't ever think that we can't talk because we're so far apart.

That is my rant for the night.

Who knows what tomorrow brings.

Monday, March 28, 2016