Am I a hypocrite? Loneliness... Not so overrated?

Yes, I can be a hypocrite. Or maybe there's an exception to every rule. Or maybe it's just another one of those "live and learn" changes we all go through. I've said, in the past, that don't mind loneliness. Or least that I prefer it over the feeling of being depended on in a relationship. Maybe I was still hurt from the last one. I don't think so. I think perhaps I just found that "exception to every rule." I think about a special someone nearly every moment within every moment. I simply can't imagine things without her. The love is mutual, though I doubt she obsesses over me like I do her. In my defense, we're very far from each other. I don't mind time apart, but the distance... It's a killer.

Not enough to shake my faith in making a future work or to stop me from making life changes and sacrifices for that future, but enough to make me wish I was someone different... someone better... sooner. I know it's not healthy to beat one's self up over such unrealistic wishing, but it's just that; a little wish I can move on from. That's not to say that I can move on from her, just that I'm strong enough not to dwell too much on how things aren't; even if just barely so.

One day, though...

If she'll still have me, when things are better...

I'll be waiting...

Always waiting...