Broken Mirror Reflection Of Only Half A Man

Sometimes I forget my age... Some of the past. Old names and their meanings.

Let us go way back to Myspace. I think, in those days, I had some of the most creative names and online aliases. Some just "sounded cool," while others had deep, personal meanings. One of them has recently come to mind, though I'm not sure why. However, I remember some of its meanings and how they still will relate today.

The name? "Broken Mirror Reflection Of Only Half A Man." Yes, it's a bit of a mouthful. Some Myspace names were like that back then. I couldn't tell you what goes on there now.

During the time when I chose that name, I lost some good friends, in various manners. It also was feeling quite down on myself for a lot of little and not so little things; my weight, loneliness, that loss of friends, go-nowhere job, and feelings of failure and inadequacy. Some of those feelings still haunt me, but at the same time, they provide a degree of strength.

I was a...

• Broken Mirror Reflection Of Only Half A Man... Who never could find fulfillment in the people around him. More often than not... I still can't.
• Broken Mirror Reflection Of Only Half A Man... Who just wanted to be left alone. Many times, I still do.
• Broken Mirror Reflection Of Only Half A Man... Who hated what he was and what be became when he tried to change. This time around, I'm much happier with who I am. Usually.
• Broken Mirror Reflection Of Only Half A Man... Who longed for something he could not have. Again, I've moved on past this. In fact, I've found something better. #Cupcake

If that said, I'll hold on to "Broken Mirror Reflection Of Only Half A Man" because I like to think I held on to the better half. The half that grew into someone better. The half that got to be alone and found his peace. And the half that wanted more and found it. I've broken a few mirrors in my time, but what's left of them will still show the better half of a man-made better... Even if I don't always feel like it.